Thursday, June 16, 2005

Reaching across the isle

Sometimes, I come across things that are just too funny. Like this diary from DailyKos:


Dear Republican Friend:

by PBJ Diddy [Subscribe]Thu Jun 16th, 2005 at 18:34:28 PDT

In the spirit of healing our nation's wounds:

I'll take the blame for Clinton's blowjob if YOU'LL take the blame for Bush's war.

I'm sick of arguing about it, so you can pin the stained blue dress on me, and yes, the LIE about it under oath, and I'll swallow it.

But, and it's an enormous but; you MUST accept that your man might just maybe possibly have stretched the truth into non-truth, and then reprocessed it into truth-free food by-product, and fed it to the American people under the label "Rationale for War" (or in some parts of the south "'Cause us Belly").

You see, I'll be honest here...I never thought Bill should've diddled that girl, I wasn't surprised mind you, just shocked. In fact my wife's first reaction was, "Well -- at least she's legal!" You might say I was never welded to the idea that my man had impeccable personal character. But you -- your man, he RAN FOR ELECTION on "restoring honor and integrity" to the white house...I mean WTF?

Little did we know; Bush thought that honor and integrity were more words he had just made up! What subliminable, misunderestimated strategery indeed! But let's be Frank here (and Plutonium Page will understand) people died, and yes, I've checked Iraqis count as people too.
I'll let you in on a little secret: None of us on the left liked Saddam Hussein. Not. Even. Michael. Moore. But then again, most of us hate warts too, we just don't feel the need to chop our hands off when we encounter one.

War is not good for children and other living things, my friend. And he's made American soldiers into torturers...step up and claim your "personal responsibility" for these atrocities.
Well, I'm sorry this attempted reconciliation has turned into more of a screed, I really don't hate you, but to misquote Mickey Rourke: "I just feel a whole lot better when you're not around the levers of power." Having republicans control the executive, legislative and judicial branches is a bit like having the Manson Family in charge of refreshments at the elementary school bake sale (I'm sorry for that image, I've been trying to use it for sometime, and there really is no appropriate analogy, but hey!)

Finally, let's kiss and make up. Of course, not literally, since I know you feel that sort of thing leads to tolerance which you abhor, and me? Well, I avoid skin contact with reptiles. But I agree to disagree with you, and respect your right to be dead wrong about everything including my welfare, safety and intimate life choices. And I'll stipulate that you disagree with me and respect my right to whine while your "Man in the white house" attempts to burn, bury and berate me and my kind. (picture Barry Manilow singing "I am Music" while skinheads stomp on his neck; except it's me, not Barry, and instead of "Music" I sing "Democracy", and the skinheads are Bushies -- but the tune is the same -- again sorry for the image.)

I am not a praying man, but someone told me if there is a person who bothers you, to pray for him, so I am praying for you...praying for you to drop dead see the light.